Gratitude is the most important thing I can give to all of you! We love you!!!
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Prayer works!
You will all be amazed and delighted to hear that she DOES NOT, I repeat DOES NOT have another tumor. The radiologist did not have her previous films and so he determined that she did have a tumor. We saw the neurosurgeon today totally expecting to hear that we would need to go through the surgery, so he comes in and says, " you films look great!" We are stunned and say, uh, WHAT? Then he shows us the two films side by side, one from 2003 and one from 2 weeks ago. So they both look the same, there is no change. The area that the radiologist was looking at was residual tissue from the previous tumor but since it have not changed in 6 years, he said, not to worry, nothing is wrong! We jumped for joy, kissed, hugged and could not contain our excitement! then we went to eat breakfast! This has been a crazy few days, but it is amazing how many people love us and how many people were praying for us! We had Jesus Buddha and Krishna on our side! Thank you to all of you, we are planning a party, Life is so vivid again. Yesterday everything was muted, and heavy and dragging and today the air is clean, the colors are bright and our future is promising!
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Tsunami
There is a time in all of our lives when we realize that no matter how good we have been to others, how loving, how giving, some things are just going to happen and there is no explanation.
My wife has a brain tumor. It IS operable, it is on her pituitary and it is the same one she had 10 years ago.
Life was very different for us then, things seem so much more serious now. Maybe its because we have child, or because we are together 15 years this July, or that we are just so intertwined. I don't know, but, it is not something we re taking lightly. When we went through this the first time, we knew there was a chance that she could get it again. after 10yrs! she has it again, we thought she was clean. This tumor is called a non-producing pituitary adenoma ( look it up if you want more info) basically it just sits there on your pit gland and starts screwing everything up, kinda like the bratty kid at school who would just come over and knock your popsicle house over, just to see it fall. Well this bratty kid is really a pain the ass. We are seeing the neurosurgeon on Tuesday to discuss options, we already know the drill, but are hoping she can take the non-invasive way this time, due to size and location of the tumor. We'll see.
I think in our lifetime we have been very lucky, we have not had to deal with much, but then I wonder, if we had had to deal with little things, would we ever be hit with BIG things? Maybe we get the BIG things becuz we are strong and can handle it better than others and its just that random. Maybe its just that random. it feels random
My wife has a brain tumor. It IS operable, it is on her pituitary and it is the same one she had 10 years ago.
Life was very different for us then, things seem so much more serious now. Maybe its because we have child, or because we are together 15 years this July, or that we are just so intertwined. I don't know, but, it is not something we re taking lightly. When we went through this the first time, we knew there was a chance that she could get it again. after 10yrs! she has it again, we thought she was clean. This tumor is called a non-producing pituitary adenoma ( look it up if you want more info) basically it just sits there on your pit gland and starts screwing everything up, kinda like the bratty kid at school who would just come over and knock your popsicle house over, just to see it fall. Well this bratty kid is really a pain the ass. We are seeing the neurosurgeon on Tuesday to discuss options, we already know the drill, but are hoping she can take the non-invasive way this time, due to size and location of the tumor. We'll see.
I think in our lifetime we have been very lucky, we have not had to deal with much, but then I wonder, if we had had to deal with little things, would we ever be hit with BIG things? Maybe we get the BIG things becuz we are strong and can handle it better than others and its just that random. Maybe its just that random. it feels random
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Spring Fever
My son is SOOOOOOOOOO happy that spring is here, he is running around outside, playing with bubbles, going to the park, pushing his truck outside, trying to ride a tricycle. All the while his mommy is thinking, how can I keep this kid safe? Anyone could take him, he is so cute and .....i need to get a DNS kit and his fingerprints, do we have any recent pics, blah blah blah.
I cannot stand being haunted by what ifs, I feel like every time I think that, I am chipping a hole in my resolve to keep him safe and letting a bit of fear acid in. I just need to remember that lots and lots of kids make it all the way through their lives and NEVER get kidnapped. I remember being age 12 and suddenly being afraid of being raped. I have no idea why. And It took me until I was almost 28 to let that fear go.. My boss who is a dear friend to me said, once you are a parent, you are never not a parent anymore. You will always worry, you will always be trying to think a half step ahead of them and you will survive, we all do, its just what its like when you are a parent.
I cannot stand being haunted by what ifs, I feel like every time I think that, I am chipping a hole in my resolve to keep him safe and letting a bit of fear acid in. I just need to remember that lots and lots of kids make it all the way through their lives and NEVER get kidnapped. I remember being age 12 and suddenly being afraid of being raped. I have no idea why. And It took me until I was almost 28 to let that fear go.. My boss who is a dear friend to me said, once you are a parent, you are never not a parent anymore. You will always worry, you will always be trying to think a half step ahead of them and you will survive, we all do, its just what its like when you are a parent.
dentist
So my son has 5 cavities! and we believe it is mostly because of the fact that he slept for 2 years with a trickling of breast milk constantly pressing on his teeth and gums. Also, his diet sucks. and he eats sweets and drinks a lot of Juice. And he would not agree to tooth brushing. Well all of that has changed. We have to get his teeth fixed, he has to have 2 rot canals and 3 fillings and he has to go through IV sedation in a hospital in order to do it. Well, we want him to. We took him to an "urgent" visit on saturday thinking he was having all this work done. But I didnt like the doctor, steph didnt likethe doctor and the doctor would not let us be in the room with him while they were working on him. So, we said, thanks very much, we'll take a referral and left. Then my son ate an entire plate of pancakes and a bowl of fresh strawberries and blueberries since we had to starve him all morning in preparation for the procedure that never happened. We will be seeing the hospital dentist next, we'll see what happens.
My son is obsessed with my moles, I have one on my face just under my chin, it sticks out a little and yeah, I suppose it can be a bit interesting. But, he has to touch it to fall asleep, in the middle of the night, if he wakes up he will have his eyes closed and be searching with his hand for my mole! Hahahahaha Stephanie and I find this Hilarious! My mom says I can never have it removed because he will miss it. What a riot!
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Singing, hugging and playing
Its been awhile since I have updated here. Well as usual my son is amazing me.
About a week ago, he told me that he loved me and that when I was old he would take care of me.
He placed his tiny little hands on each cheeks and said mommy "feel better mommy, when youa re old, I will take care of you mommy". Sometimes I have this feeling that he is a very old soul who has been here many times.
Also, we were hugging him and he was sitting wiht us on the couch, all of the sudden he says, daddy is my mommy and mommy is my mommy. You are my two mommies!We just looked at each other and looked at him and said, That's right!
I have no idea how he figured out that two mommies had to be plural!
This child is growing so fast, his language and sentence skills are amazing.
he knows his ABC's, sort of.
He can count to 10
and he know 6 colors and 5 shapes.
He also has begun singing, singing, singing which I think it soooo cool because he is feeling so safe and not judged that he will just belt out a song! Like tonight, he was singing, knife, knife, kniiiiiiife! I dont know why he was singing about a knife, but I sang with him. Then he started singing his list of songs. Abc's, itsy bitsy spider, twinkle twinkle, pat a cake, which is not really a song, but its ok. And happy birthday Luna. She was 5 yesterday and we sang to her. I think Luna might be one of his best friends! he is realy loving her these days, she will play with him when he throws a toy and then she will ruuuunnnn and he will chase her.
its nice to see a little boy enjoy his dogs.
About a week ago, he told me that he loved me and that when I was old he would take care of me.
He placed his tiny little hands on each cheeks and said mommy "feel better mommy, when youa re old, I will take care of you mommy". Sometimes I have this feeling that he is a very old soul who has been here many times.
Also, we were hugging him and he was sitting wiht us on the couch, all of the sudden he says, daddy is my mommy and mommy is my mommy. You are my two mommies!We just looked at each other and looked at him and said, That's right!
I have no idea how he figured out that two mommies had to be plural!
This child is growing so fast, his language and sentence skills are amazing.
he knows his ABC's, sort of.
He can count to 10
and he know 6 colors and 5 shapes.
He also has begun singing, singing, singing which I think it soooo cool because he is feeling so safe and not judged that he will just belt out a song! Like tonight, he was singing, knife, knife, kniiiiiiife! I dont know why he was singing about a knife, but I sang with him. Then he started singing his list of songs. Abc's, itsy bitsy spider, twinkle twinkle, pat a cake, which is not really a song, but its ok. And happy birthday Luna. She was 5 yesterday and we sang to her. I think Luna might be one of his best friends! he is realy loving her these days, she will play with him when he throws a toy and then she will ruuuunnnn and he will chase her.
its nice to see a little boy enjoy his dogs.
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